What Am I Doing?

I thought I would actually write a little more a thoughtful post today, since I was up last night wondering what to write (too much sugar in my homemade mojitos perhaps?). I had this weird "talk" with myself which made me question why I blog particularly on this stuff. This "stuff" meaning food and travel. Maybe it was a moment of complete lack of self-confidence and my "Gremlin" talking to me. By the way, a good friend calls a person's "Gremlin" their inner voice that tries to dissuade them from accomplishing their goals and chips away at their self-confidence.

Anyway here's my conversation in my head last night:

Try Anything Once Terri: I'm behind on posting this week. Something needs to go up tomorrow. What should it be? Something on Bali? My trip to Fort Defiance and Baked in Red Hook? Fatty Crab? Governor's Island?

Gremlin: Why are you even worried about this? No one reads your blog anyway!! They don't care. All you do is brag aboout where you went. The travel stuff especially in pretty crappy. Look, shouldn't you be doing something more important with your time instead of spending it writing something no one cares about? Last time I checked you're not exactly bringing in money here. There are like 5o million other blogs out there. A whopping five people read yours (well, more like 20 or so according to Site Meter). Waste your time if you want.

OUCH!! My Gremlin is pretty rough, and it was last night. I think it's the convergence of a lot of things happening to me right now: Getting older (as in I have a birthday next month and for some reason it's freaking me out more than usual); contemplating major life changes in the realm of motherhood and family and how it will affect the things I love to do (I give props to people to travel certain places with kids.); lack of career satisfaction or feeling like I have done nothing of worth professionally (add the other two previous things to the mix, and then I really feel whack).

I try not to let other aspects of my life influence what I do here, since this is supposed to be my happy, carefree space. I'm sure that I will continue to do this blog because it's an outlet for me. Many of you blog under much more crazy circumstances than I do (i.e., you have demanding full time jobs; children; this is your livelihood; etc.), so I am not going to complain.

Anyway, for the bloggers out there, what keeps you going blogging about the things you love? What are your hopes and expectations for your blog? Is it just a diary of your thoughts? A means of relaxation? A vehicle to profile other things you do?

I will leave you one of my favorite pictures from my trip to my beautiful island homeland, Antigua, a couple of years ago. I'll get to the story of that trip sometime. :)

P.S. Please say hi in the comments. I'd love to get to know my readers more. Thanks!